This isn't exactly new news to those who follow me on IG (@thefrugalfernandez) but I wanted to share (and document) our exciting news and share a little bit about our pregnancy journeys in 2022. This post speaks of miscarriage and the struggles of pregnancy after loss. If this topic is sensitive to you, I would invite you to pass on reading this post.
In February 2022 we found out we were pregnant! A few weeks later beyond excited and having just told our families, we miscarried for the first time. The news was earth-shattering and we were incredibly sad to have lost the little life growing inside of me. Doctors told us that it would likely never happen again and we genuinely (and naively) believed them. 3 short months later we found out we were pregnant again! Excited and hopeful, only to miscarry again.
From March 2022 - July 2022 I bled for a total of 3 months and my body, emotions, and heart had taken a toll. We were sad, angry, and shocked. I watched nearly all of my close friends get pregnant and have babies. I attended baby showers and gender reveals, and while I was so deeply excited for them - my heart endured what seemed like a never-ending ache, and mourn.
2022 was a hard year. It was full of many tough moments. Emotionally and spiritually I was shaken, torn, and broken. Yet in the midst- grown. I was very angry. Angry with myself, my body, and God. In October I randomly decided to take a pregnancy test (truly expecting NOT be pregnant). To our surprise, and by The Lord's gracious hand, we were pregnant! While I was excited to have life growing inside of me again, it was hard to be excited. My pregnancy journies had been too jaded. I was full of doubt and anxiety.
I started the battery of doctors' appointments (if you have experienced pregnancy loss you may know what I'm talking about). Lab work, early ultrasounds, etc. To our surprise, a true miracle from the Lord, my HCG doubled. And it continued to double! Until we made it to week 6 where a healthy baby was visible on an early ultrasound!
The entire first trimester was hard. Pregnancy after loss is hard. But God's grace is good and he "had heard my weeping, The Lord had heard my cry for mercy; the Lord had accepted my prayer." - Psalm 6:8-9
I am currently 17 weeks pregnant and in my second trimester. Mentally and emotionally I am doing so much better. Little by little excitement began to roll in and my anxieties began to ease. My pregnancy is still high-risk (due to the losses and my daughter being born slightly premature) so they have been watching things extra closely. I have received some extra care but overall I am feeling SO different (in a good way) than I was when I was pregnant with Eden. Most of all, I am grateful to The Lord for blessing us with this baby!
They found out I am anemic (from all the bleeding last year). So I have been getting IV iron infusions weekly to help prevent a future blood transfusion. I am so grateful for modern-day medicine and for technologies that allow us to have preventative care.
Some FAQs I have been getting on my Instagram:
Gender? We will find out at 20 weeks and we will share! :)
V-Bac? No, I will have a scheduled repeat c-section. I am not a good candidate for a V-BAC and trust my doctors and my gut in making the decision not to try for one.
Due Date? July 2nd - but the baby will likely be delivered in late June!
Do you want a boy this time? The fact that I am even pregnant at all is enough for me, I do not have a preference! I feel SOOOO different than I did with Eden though - so I feel like it's maybe a boy, but I would be 100% content with either.
Is Eden excited? She is beyond excited, and so sweet to my belly. I am excited that she will get the gift of a sibling.
Names? We like to discuss names after we know the gender, but we do have some ideas for either gender.
Cravings? Salty & Sour (with Eden I only wanted sweet things).
If you read this far - thank you! Many of you have sent private congrats and prayers and I am so grateful.